An actual text conversation (or as I like to call them, Textation) I just had inspired me to blog again.
Me: (after sending several hilarious texts to which I received zero LOLs) Am I really the only one that finds me funny?
Patient Boy: No you usually make me laugh. Why you ask?
Me: No one is amused by me today. Except me. Sad face. (thinking about how this includes him. What a jerk)
Me: except maybe Caridad but I can't tell because we're being funny in a very serious way. (remind me to post those emails... Laughter is plentiful)
PB: hahaha hmm uhh maybe that's the problem.
Me: That me and Caridad are serious kind of funny today? I don't see why that would keep other people from being amused by my not serious but still funny ways. (am still fuming because no one laughed at my awesomely funny #fakekidnapping Tweets this morning)
Me: It's rough when my boss isn't in the office. I get lonely and no one laughs at me. No human interaction at all! (pause for effect) I'm considering signing up for chat roulette.
PB: What is chat roulette?
Me: It's a site where you get randomly matched up with people to talk to via webcam. Sometimes people want to chat. But it's famous for an obscene amount of junk flashing.
PB: (no response)
Me: Yeah having to explain chat roulette makes it less funny... Maybe I'm telling my best stories to the wrong audiences.
PB: (still no response)
Me: also it's 90 degrees out and I'm wearing a sweater. I don't know why. Please help.
PB: (Finishes driving to work and sees his phone) Ok well damn that's a lot. Um take off the sweater for starters. Lol.
See? I just need to find the right audience! On the internet! Hello, y'all. I'm Avril Obscene. I am fucking sexy, dammit. Why don't you want me?