Apparently I don't know what an intervention is ...
Me: You're so responsible it's scary. I clean when I'm sick; apparently you go to work. I don't even know who you ARE anymore.
Patient Boy: Yeah, I need help.
Me: It's all right. Your interventions are already scheduled. I got this.
PB: Oh God. I hope you are kidding.
Me: smiles angelically
PB: Oh no... you really ARENT kidding.
Me: Who would kid about interventions for working? They are serious business.
PB: Oh crap. Now I'm worried. Well, when is it?
Me: Um, hello, it's a surprise intervention. There's going to be cake and everything. Just like all the best interventions. That's how it's done, right?
PB: Umm. I've never been to one but I feel as though you are thinking of a party of some kind.
Me: Isn't that what an intervention is? You're in charge of bringing the beer, by the way... which I admit is problematic given that it is a surprise intervention. To be safe just keep a few cases in your car.
PB: Wait; isn't this my surprise intervention?? Why am I bringing stuff??
Me: This is my first intervention and I really want it to go well. Why can't you help me out a little??
PB: Well, I guess if fish sticks and custard are there I will.
Me: All right awesome. Make sure you buy at least one case of PBR because I invited the roller derby team to your intervention.
PB: Wait what? Are you sure this is an intervention?
Me: Yeah totally! Also I'm trying to schedule it for a Tuesday or Saturday so you can come but you might need to take some time off because most people can only come on Thursday.
PB: You also want me to take time off for my intervention? What the hell??
Me: Why can't you just be supportive?? This is all for you!
PB: Yeahh ... sorry but maybe you are just being too demanding.
Me: This so much pressure.
Me: Fine, you know what? You aren't even invited to your intervention anymore! No fish custard and beer for you!!
PB: Wow, um, its getting hard to tell the jokes from the mad ... please don't kill me?
Me: Come over. We'll sort the rest out later. I promise tonight isn't the intervention that you aren't invited to. But I'm out of custard.