Real conversation between me and Fake Big Brother:
Me: I finished watching the first season of True Blood last night btw. Hence me being up until 2 am last night.
FBB: Ooooh that makes sense.
FBB: It is good.
Me: it was like midnight and I was sleepy but I had One. Disk. Left.
Me: and I was like I AM SO CLOSE!
FBB: That's what she said.
Me: Oh thank god you said it. I did not want to have to "that's what she said" myself.
Me: I remember saying that during sex before, when I used to be more vocal.
Me: I'm pretty sure it was the same time I punched a guy during sex.
Me: No no no. That was when I said BUT I WAS SO CLOSE.
Me: true story. Sad but true.
So anyway, now that we've talked about being vocal during sex, I feel like we can't possibly top the conversation. Maybe it should just end now.
Yeah I can't really think of a topper.
Me: Well, I don't want to top myself.
Question mark face?
FBB: you are at work; that would be inappropriate!
Me: LOL like "top myself off" ... Is that even a euphemism for masturbation or am I just making shit up now?
FBB: Signs off
Me: Probably went to top himself off.
Update: turns out that "topping yourself off" is a euphemism for suicide. Which is also inappropriate at work.